I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
