i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
