I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
