I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
