He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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