we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
