Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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