i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
