bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
