She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
