Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
