Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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