we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
