I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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