I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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