I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize