We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize