your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
