I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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