If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
