"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
