Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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