i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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