but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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