There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize