My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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