when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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