I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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