I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
