The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
