we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
