Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
