is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
