She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
