just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
