Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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