Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
