I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize