porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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