The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
