She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
