i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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