am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
