is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
