She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
