No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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