she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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