I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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