i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
