Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
