she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize