...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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