these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
