ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
