ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We have started to decorate penises.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
