i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
