I must be too annoying 4 u.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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