i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
