Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
