My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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