Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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